No More Presents
Enjoy your new presents while you can, because come Monday morning, the only things you'll get to open are a bunch of passive-aggressive emails. Welcome to the new year.
Squeezing Into "Real" Pants
For the past two weeks or so, your wardrobe has consisted of alternating pajama onesies, sweats, and fuzzy socks. Come Monday morning though, it's time to see if your work clothes still fit. (Spoiler alert: They're a little snug).
Setting That Alarm
Pro tip: Set your alarm an hour early on the first day back to work. Because you will press snooze. And you will press it again. And again. And again.
Sifting Through Hundreds of Emails
Sure, most of these emails will be the generic "Happy Holidays!" newsletters and the occasional email from the office workaholic no one actually expects you to read, but then you'll come across that Sephora sale, and you'll cry into your coffee just thinking about all the debt you're in. Merry Christmas.
Being Forced to Have the Same Conversations Over...and Over
How was my holiday? It was absolutely wonderful, Patricia. I slept all day and I didn't have to talk to you or see your face. Thanks for asking.
Being Forced to Listen to Everyone's Tacky Engagement Stories
Oh, you got engaged over the holidays? I ate my weight in pie. So who's the real winner here?
No More Day Drinking
The holidays are a time for family, food, and drinking to deal with it all. But now that you have to be at work by 9 a.m., you can say goodbye to those morning mimosas. R.I.P.
Getting Back into the Groove of Things
It's been a minute since you were last at work. You've slept since then. How can anyone expect you to remember where the fax machine is, or who the new guy wearing Crocs is (and what is he even doing at your office?).
Let's be honest here. It's going to take at least a week before any real work gets done. Raise your hand if you need a vacation from your vacation.
Having Nothing to Live For
Not to be dramatic, but now that you've washed the glitter out of your hair and eaten the last of the leftover ham, what is there to look forward to? It's January, it's cold, and your life sucks. Happy new year.