Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory: Willy Wonka’s Factory
Who doesn’t want to work at a candy factory? The first and obvious benefit is the all-day free candy. Wonka won’t notice a few gallons of chocolate going missing every now and then, will he? The second is perk the songs and dances that break up the monotony. Finally, you get to see all of the guests mess up and fly toward the ceiling when they drink the fizzy lifting soda.
Of course, we’re hoping that Wonka has a pretty good health plan that includes gym membership. After all, we need to be fit in order to decontaminate and roll the guests back out of the candy factory. All in all, it would be one of the best places to work.
Batman: Wayne Enterprises
There’s a chance you’d see Batman. Need we say more? We don’t have to, but we will. Wayne Enterprises is enormous, with at least 32 other businesses incorporated into the main brand. That means transitioning to a new job would be super easy. Love cooking? Work at Wayne Foods. Thinking about nursing? Wayne Medical.
The only downside is that you’d likely live in Gotham. The city is a nightmare where your home could get burnt down at any moment. Gotham is also controlled by a billionaire who dresses up like a bat and fights crime because his parents were murdered.
The Office: Dunder Mifflin
Of course, this is exclusively at Michael’s Scranton office. Working at the main office would be awful. We mainly want to work at the Scranton office for one reason: the staff. Selling paper would be one of the worst jobs out there, but your coworkers would make every day unique.
Plus, it’s obvious that Michael cares about everyone in the office from the receptionist to his right-hand man (whether it be Dwight or Jim). Sure, he messes up occasionally, but having a boss like that must be nice. For the record, we’d quit after Michael left. Andy wasn’t bad, but Robert was the worst.
Harry Potter: Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes
Working for a joke shop already sounds like a dream job, but then you add in all the magic? Talk about a dream job! It’s no wonder that the store became one of the most popular stores at Diagon Alley. The jokes are sure to be some of the best because Fred and George designed them.
They’ll also pull pranks on you, but most of them don’t really hurt you in the long run. One other thing we want to mention is that you’ll have job security. Even after the wizard war, the shop remained incredibly busy. Hope you can think on your feet!
Angel: Angel Investigations
Have you ever dreamed about fighting demons, vampires, and all manner of supernatural beings? We have, and that’s why working at Angel Investigations is right up our alley. The only drawback is that you’d have Angel as your boss.
Not that he’s bad. He’s just notoriously unreliable and known to go to the darkside from time to time. Still, you can’t beat fighting witches and all manner of terrifying creatures. Oh, and Spike. Spike would be an issue, too.
Resident Evil: Umbrella Corporation
Hear us out. Being eaten by zombies? That would totally suck. However, creating life again would be one of the coolest things anyone could ever do. Creating zombies is just the start of it. The company makes all manner of bio-weapons and messes around with DNA.
Of course, it would also really suck to tell people who you worked for. Umbrella is generally frowned upon, so it’s almost like working for Comcast or Facebook – people are gonna complain. Listen, we’re not the CEO. We just make zombies…wait, that’s just as bad.
Friends: Central Perk
Being a barista would be pretty cool to begin with, and Central Perk would be the tops (certainly better than Starbucks, at least). The environment seems really chill, and the customers seem pretty nice for the most part. You’ll also have Phoebe’s serenades, which we’re going to count as a bonus.
You’d also have the chance to work with Rachel and Joey. Okay, well, Joey would be tough to work with because he wasn’t that great, but Rachel was...not much better. They’re kinda funny at times, and you may get drawn into the group. That’s something we all wanted at least once in our lives.
Iron Man/Avengers: Stark Industries
Stark Industries has something Wayne Enterprises lacks: awesome bosses. Tony Stark and Pepper Potts always seemed to care about the company, so we’re guessing they treat their employees well. Stark Industries also makes some of the most amazing technological advances the world has ever seen.
Personally, we would prefer working on the suits rather than the bombs, but there’s always the opportunity to transfer to another part of the company. If you keep an eye out, you might see Cap, Spiderman, Iron Man, or one of the other dope superheroes.
Arrested Development: Bluth’s Original Frozen Banana Stand
There’s always money in the banana stand. Literally. A little digging, and the stacks of cash could be found. Even if you don’t want to “borrow” a little cash, you’d basically have unlimited frozen bananas. Time to double, triple, and quadruple dip it in fudge!
Of course, you’d have to show a little restraint, or the weight would be packed on like someone packing for a vacation. The Bluth family would be a toss of the coin. It would be hilarious watching them make their way through life (trying to mimic a chicken), but they also seem like awful bosses.
Monsters, Inc: Monsters, Inc.
We’re talking about the Monsters, Inc. post-screaming. It wouldn’t be fun scaring kids for a living. However, the system that makes kids laugh is practically like doing stand-up! You get to choose how to make the kid laugh, but it would take a bit of trial and error for each kiddo.
Unlike being a comedian, you wouldn’t have to hustle. You might get a heckler, but that’s just the nature of dealing with kids. Generally, they laugh pretty easily, so you’d probably have a good ego-boost by the end of the day.
Jurassic Park: InGen
Dinosaurs! InGen was the original group that made dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Tell us that it would suck making dinosaurs, we dare you. Anyone that says so is absolutely wrong. You don’t have to make T-Rexs, although we wouldn’t blame you if you did.
If you prefer the ones that eat veggies, then that’s cool, too. There’s also the chance to be a vet and keep those sweet little dinos healthy through their second lives. Secretly, we’re hoping for free dino rides when the park is closed to visitors. Just make sure to leave before they all break out.
Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Paddy’s Pub
First of all, being a bartender always sounded awesome, especially when the most complicated thing you do all day at Paddy’s is to take a cap off a beer bottle or pull the tap. Paddy’s is another place altogether, though. This bar comes with “the Gang.”
The Gang gets into all sorts of trouble, from scamming people to playing Chardee MacDennis. Are you really a fan of Always Sunny in Philadelphia if you never watched those episodes wanting to play Chardee MacDennis?
RoboCops: Omni Consumer Products
Omni Consumer Products may not seem like a great place to work but hear us out. The organization offers tons of movement because it makes pretty much any product anyone would need. Plus, there’s the whole making RoboCops.
Okay, okay. They are an evil corporation, so there’s probably not going to be great benefits or anything. We prefer to look at the advantages of working for OCP. Maybe you can get a few upgrades along the way as a Christmas bonus.
Parks and Rec: Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department
First, working with Leslie Knope would be amazing. She genuinely cares about the city of Pawnee and also cares about her coworkers. She goes above and beyond to make them happy, even if it means giving up something she wants.
Plus, there’s the chance to make the town you live in better. Adding a park or getting rid of something unsightly is just the tip of the iceberg. Then, there’s Ron, April, Andy, and all the other people that work at the Parks and Rec department – honestly, this is one of the best ones on this list.
Ghostbusters: Hook & Ladder 8
No longer do we have to ask, “Who you gonna call?!” The answer: you. Working with the Ghostbusters would be freaking awesome. We’re talking about the original team with Bill Murray Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson.
The best plan is to keep a set of clothes at the fire station because you’ll definitely get goo on you. Just don’t wear your good shoes. Actually, it may be best to invest in waterproof ones to avoid getting ectoplasm in them.
Big: MacMillan Toys
Playing with toys for a living? Yeah, we’re down. The whole child trapped in an adult body makes a little more sense when you have an action figure in your hands for eight hours a day. Heck, you can even think of it in modern times, not the ’80s when Big came out.
Now, you would have access to all manner of cool toys from drones to circuit kits. The toys would be free, you’d get paid, and you wouldn’t have to beat the crowds. The toys would be accessible before they even hit the market!
Terminator: Cyberdyne Systems
Everyone wants to make a Terminator. Technically, Skynet created Terminators, but Cyberdyne created Skynet, so it’s all the same. We can’t help but think about all the machines they’re creating outside of Terminators.
The company has to have something in the wings – something they’re keeping secret. Just make sure not to make any Terminator machines angry. You never know when they’re going to come after you, and there’s not much you can do to stop them.
Star Trek: Starfleet
Space: The Final Frontier. You would be a part of the voyages of the starship Enterprise! You would see new worlds, meet new creatures, and do all manner of new things. The sky is no longer the limit!
It’s dangerous, but that’s just part of the fun. You could choose to work down in the engineering room with Scotty, in the medical ward with Bones, or go on adventures with none other than James T. Kirk. All in all, we couldn’t think of anything more fun.
Men in Black: M.I.B.
Aliens! The Men in Black are the guys that track down aliens that came to Earth without going through the proper channels. They also investigate illegal underground markets and other mysteries that could cause Earth harm.
Meeting all sorts of aliens would definitely be fun, but we think the illegal underground markets would be amazing. Maybe there would be opportunities to go undercover and interact with this secret world?!
James Bond: Universal Exports
You know all those little gadgets and tools that James Bond uses? They would be amazing to make. Q would be doing all the work, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work in Research and Development or product testing.
We’re talking about testing false fingerprints, that flame thrower, and jetpacks. Chances are, you’ll get to try them out before James Bond even gets a hold of them. Granted, some of them will be mishaps and backfires, but that’s just part of the fun isn’t it?