There are two types of clingers in every office: one that clings only to you, and one that clings to a group. Both are equally annoying.
The latter is the one who pushes entirely too hard to have “the whole gang” go out and get a drink. Chances are they’ll invite every employee who’s ever been there (including the people you hate) in a desperate attempt to keep everyone close together - nobody will hang out with them after hours, so their best attempt is to force co-workers into being more of a friend than they ever intended.
The bully comes in all shapes, sizes, genders, and job positions.
The Bully knows what they want, and they know how to make you get it for them. They're not afraid to make threats to get you to take over a job they don't want. They love to tell you how to do your job while ignoring their own.
As long as the boss is out of hearing, of course.
Somehow, The Gossip has omniscient knowledge of last weekend, two years ago, and who the girl in the next cubicle is going to try to sleep with next weekend (see “The Flirt” on slide #11). But The Gossip can’t keep it to themself - whether it’s something they overheard, something you mentioned in confidence, or something that they made up just to get that “wow” look.
It doesn’t have to be true - it just has to be juicy. The Gossip knows what’s going on with every employee, and they know more of what’s happening with the business than the CEO does.
When you just really don’t want to take care of those files, The Pushover is your go-to co-worker. Whether it’s because they want to make everyone happy, or because they don't know how to say no, The Pushover is one person you can always count on to give in and give up, do what you ask, and never speak a word of complaint.
If you're not sure who The Pushover is in your office, it's probably the person hoarding coffee cups and pulling out all their hair.
The Passive-Aggressive One
While some of The Passive-Aggressive One's aspects might resonate with those of The Pushover, there’s a subtle difference. The Pushover will go ahead and finish up for you on Friday evening just before close (while you skip out early) without regret, but with The Passive-Aggressive One, you're going to pay for it later.
Not with a big dramatic show, just with something small - like when it’s their turn to take out the trash, your trash can stays mysteriously full. Memos everyone else get somehow never land on your desk. And what was once a friendly - or at least neutral - manner has suddenly become cold and icy.
The Wet Blanket
He doesn’t put out fires - he puts out everything. He’s the negative opinion of every good idea, the reason why any exciting in- or out-of-office opportunity won’t work. And he doesn’t just ruin your good ideas - he’s the first to disparage his own, too.
There are two kinds of pranksters at every office. There’s the tactful prankster, who knows how to go about it the right way, and manages to slide in a few tactful jokes to break up an otherwise draining meeting, or produce a laugh out of an otherwise dull day.
And then there’s the one who doesn’t know where to stop. They’re so excited about their little jokes and pranks that they don’t have time to make the business go, and when they ought to be finishing paperwork, they’re seeing how many paperclips they can get stuck in the girl in the next cubicle’s oversized hairdo before she notices.
The Boss's Pet
If you have a good idea, this is not the person to bounce it off of before you go to the boss. They make sure the boss knows everything, and they’re happy to take all the credit. The Boss's Pet is there to fill in or look good before anyone else even gets the chance, and while the boss may love him, everyone else just wants to throttle him.
The Tattle Tale
Not to be confused with the gossip and the boss’ pet, The Tattle Tale has little use for the boss unless it’s to get someone else in trouble. They aren’t nosey or gossipy so much as looking to overhear inadvertent admissions of wrongdoing. And while they might bring it straight to the boss, they might also bring it to the person for whom it will cause the most trouble (like that co-worker you admitted you hate during Happy Hour).
Even if this co-worker has only been at your company for two days, The Egotist already knows how to do everything better than you. They're not only already an expert, but your nicely worded tips for improvement are certainly not needed. Every word, every gesture, every report clearly exudes the obvious: no one could have done this better than The Egotist, and no one should even bother trying.
If there was a prize for unreported sexual harassment, The Flirt would win it. If there were an innuendo to be made from someone’s speech, The Flirt would jump on it. He’s always showing a little too much chest hair, she’s always got an unprofessional amount of cleavage. While they may draw the line at actually seducing the entire office...well, they may not. And you can be sure The Gossip will keep you updated.